


While I Have Breath

by SnappleNinja



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Blood, Blood and Gore, Camping, Childhood Memories, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Forests, Headaches & Migraines, I still don't really know how to tag, Mental Health Issues, POV Second Person, Promises, Protective Tifa Lockhart, SO, Shyness, Skeletons, Slow Burn, Tifa POV but not quite, but only the end result...kinda, cuz of course, is that how it works?, oh well, that word count was entirely unintentional btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28673967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnappleNinja/pseuds/SnappleNinja
Summary: As the group makes a small detour through a forest on their way past Kalm, Cloud goes missing.Naturally, Tifa volunteers to go looking for him.(Oneshot)
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 3
Kudos: 68





	While I Have Breath

**Author's Note:**

> So, upon replaying the OG FF7, I ended up reaching Kalm, the Gold Saucer, Cosmo Canyon and so on and STILL haven't met Yuffie, so I guess I just accidentally missed her? Either way, this was written with that in mind. They just haven't come across her quite yet.

“Something is wrong with Cloud.” Well, wasn’t _that_ stating the most obvious-

“I’ve noticed it, too,” Barret nodded as he fell in step beside Tifa. Even with the lenses of his sunglasses blocking the view of his eyes, there was an unusual amount of concern and uncertainty washing over his face. He clamped his teeth together. “Damn kid’s been having those headaches all the time now.”

“I’ve only known you all for a few days, but I can easily spot something wrong,” Red agreed as he hurried up on all fours. His ears perked up just a bit as he heard something in the distance – perhaps the snapping of twigs – and then he relaxed. “If Cloud is supposed to be our leader, then I’d hope he’d be in his best condition.”

“None of us are,” Tifa cut in a bit too soon. “You can’t expect, after everything that’s happened, that Cloud will-“

“Tifa,” Barret cleared his throat, gaining her attention. “The hound is right.” Red snorted behind them. “Who the hell are we puttin’ our trust in if he starts trembling like a little kid every time his head starts hurting?”

Tifa hated to agree, but she did anyway. “They aren’t just normal headaches, though. I can _tell_. When we first came across Sephiroth…”

The mention of the swordsman’s name sent an uncomfortable silence between the group for a while. 

“Sorry,” Tifa sighed. “But when we _did_ , Cloud was terrified.”

Red chuckled dryly. “Weren’t we all?”

“It was before we even saw him,” Tifa protested. “I think, before even _Cloud_ saw him.”

“Does it only happen right before something bad happens?” Red questioned.

“No…” Tifa trailed off sadly. “For all I know, it could be far less serious than I’m picturing.”

“You’ll never know unless you ask,” Aerith’s voice chirped up from behind them, startling the three. 

Barret cleared his throat, covering up the small gasp that’d escaped his lips upon hearing her voice. “Damn, I was about to unload a round of bullets in your face, girl, thinking you was some Shinra scumbag.” He tipped his weaponized arm up to further push his point. “You can’t be sneaking up on us like that.”

“Sorry,” Aerith winced, but a smile still spread across her lips, and her hands clasped together. “I just didn’t want to interrupt your little talk.”

“I mean, you still _did_ …” Red muttered under his breath, but his tone carried amusement.

“Aerith,” Tifa started hesitantly, peering around and behind the florist to see if anyone had come with her. “…I thought you were scouting ahead with Cloud.”

“I was, but he sent me back,” Aerith responded, coming up to walk at Tifa’s left. “We came across a campsite of some kind, and he was worried they’d notice us, I guess. He sent me back, not even with the firewood we collected.”

Tifa was more than a little confused at this. _Isn’t Cloud her bodyguard? Seems unlike him to send her back alone…_

Barret seemed to be thinking the same thing as he turned back to Aerith again. “SOLDIER boy is still at the campsite, then? What, was it Shinra?”

“I don’t think so, no,” Aerith shook her head. “We didn’t see anyone come out of the tents, but Cloud still seemed to recognize something about the place.” The girl’s lips quirked downwards in a frown. “He had one of those sudden headaches again, too.”

Tifa looked out into the forest with wide eyes before she straightened herself. “I’m going after him.”

“Hey now, wait a second,” Barret held up a hand before Tifa could get very far. “We know our fine merc can handle a handful of nomads. Besides, I doubt the camp is very big.”

“It’s not,” Aerith confirmed. “Only four tents, and a small campfire.”

“If he needed help, he’d send Aerith back with orders to have us come for him,” Red added. “Seems to me, he simply sent her back just to not take any risks.”

“But he sent her back _alone_ ,” Tifa shook her head, still not feeling any less uneasy. “And his PHS! He left it with you earlier, didn’t he, Barret?”

The large man appeared confused before sticking his flesh hand down his pocket and feeling around. He nodded. “Yeah, the kid asked me to hold onto it when he took a shower back at Kalm. Guess he and I both forgot about it. Look, if it makes you feel any damn better, go after him,” Barret raised his hands in defeat, turning on his heel. “You’re already worked up enough about the headaches. I’d rather you not have more to worry about.”

Tifa looked to Aerith for her opinion, and the girl just smiled, pointing off in the direction she’d came. “Just take a right when you get to the large pond and keep going straight. The campsite shouldn’t be too far.”

Tifa nodded and started jogging that way, only to stop in her tracks and look back at Barret. “I’m just going to make sure he has things handled. Can’t be too careful.”

“Who’re you trying to convince?” Barret laughed, but there was a seriousness behind his question. “Me, Aerith, the dog, or you?”

Red nearly growled.

Tifa couldn’t answer.

* * *

Tifa found the campsite after a few minutes of trekking through thorns and thistles, but there was no armed blonde ex-SOLDIER in sight. As she brought herself low to hide behind a mound of dirt overlooking the dip of earth that the campsite was gently nestled into, Tifa’s eyes scanned the site a few more times. He couldn’t have left already, or she would have bumped into him on the way here…right? Tifa looked behind her, down the way she came, although she soon laughed at her own silliness. There was no way on green earth that they’d, at one point, walked past each other and never realized it. She hadn’t even heard his boots trudging through the leaves.

Still, the chance that Cloud could be inside one of the tents was something she had to consider. It was a very small, almost unlikely chance, but she knew she’d kick herself later if she moved on to search for him elsewhere when he was in a tent the whole time. Tifa took a quick look around the premises before vaulting herself carefully over the dirt mound and landing on her feet in the dip below.

_Come on, Cloud, where are you? What’s so important that you’d send Aerith back on her own?_

Tifa respected and often accepted the opinions of Barret and now even Aerith, despite the small amount of time she’d known her. Even Red – talking dog or not – seemed to have a more level head than the actual humans at times. Still, she couldn’t shake off how uneasy she felt when Barret and the others displayed far less concern for Cloud’s safety. Sending Aerith back alone was the _last_ thing she expected the man to do when approaching enemies, no less in unfamiliar territory. If he’d found a camp here, he surely must have assumed there were camps elsewhere. Sending Aerith alone could likely put her in the way of trouble. If he took the flower girl to examine the campsite with him, he’d simply stay in front of her and fend off any enemies that threatened her. Such things had happened before.

As Tifa quietly sneaked her way around the corner of one of the tents, hating how she couldn’t do anything about the way leaves loudly crinkled beneath her boots, her mental argument slipped.

Maybe Barret was right. And Aerith. And Red. Maybe they knew Cloud just as well as she did – maybe even better, although such a thought scared her. But it wasn’t impossible. They knew SOLDIER Cloud, and SOLDIER Cloud _only._ They only knew the Cloud with the huge sword and the no-nonsense attitude who dove into fights with raw confidence and ability.

Tifa knew that Cloud, too, but she also knew the shy, lonely boy from Nibleheim that had no friends. The kid who invited her to the water tower one night so _she_ could be the one other kid in the whole village who he told his plans of leaving and joining SOLDIER. The Cloud who was _still_ a man of few words even back then, but he felt quite different, all the same.

The way he took each job so seriously. The heir of professionalism he had with each encounter, even with her at times. The willingness to take a life if need be. The Mako in his eyes. The drive he had that she still didn’t fully understand. 

But she’d changed too, hadn’t she? She ran a bar – scratch that, _had_ run a bar – trained in martial arts, joined an eco-terrorist group as far as anyone was concerned, and got in fights all the time. Time had changed them both, but the changes weren’t all _that_ different from each other, were they? The whole reason they’d come together again after seven years was because they both fought Shinra, and Barret was willing to pay Cloud well. 

_When I think of it that way, it kinda takes the joy out of the reunion. But just a bit._

Tifa continued to step as silently as she could despite the leaves, and finally stopped at the front of one tent after assuring herself that the coast was clear. She took a deep breath, kneeling down to grab the zipper, and then quickly pulled it up and around, opening the tent’s interior to her view. She nearly screamed at what she found inside, holding her hand to her mouth as she choked back any sound she almost made. 

Skeletons. Three skeletons piled up in the confines of the tent. Ripped pieces of clothing hanging off their ribcages. Dried blood on the floor.

Tifa wanted to gag, or at least look away. She went for the second option, standing to her feet and whipping around as she let it all sink in. Something awful had happened here. 

That was when she realized the other two tents had been ripped – no, _cut_ open. She hurried over now, peering inside only long enough to confirm her suspicions that they, too, were full of skeletons. The abundance of blood staining even the walls and ceiling of the tent made Tifa wonder if whoever or whatever did this had purposely painted the scene with it. The skeletons were also just thrown messily inside, as if they’d actually been killed around the campsite, had their flesh torn off, and their remains were thrown back in the tents.

Tifa hated the eerie feeling that ran down her back. She’d seen terrible things done to people before. Seen what Shinra does to the Planet. Seen the abuse and murder that happens in the streets of Midgar. But nothing prepared her for the bloody skeletons. She turned away.

Her eyes quickly picked up on something white hiding behind the bushes and leaves at the other end of the campsite. Tifa could already guess what it was, but she still cringed back upon pushing the bushes away and finding another skeleton. She didn’t dare touch it, but she realized that there was blood trailing off into the distance like it was intended to show someone the way.

_The way to what?_

Realization dawned on the bartender, and Tifa realized that must have been why Cloud went alone – why he sent Aerith back on her own. He must have realized it before she did, maybe spotted the skeleton here in the thicket, or spotted some blood somewhere, and sent Aerith back before he went in and confirmed his suspicions for himself.

Tifa stood straight and let her eyes follow the trail of blood until she couldn’t see it any more. Cloud had followed it. It only made sense.

If only he’d brought his PHS. Things would have been so much simpler. Just a simple call involving her saying, _“Hey Cloud, Aerith came back, she said you sent her away on her own. Everything alright?”_ followed by him responding with as few words as possible yet still alleviating her conscience.

Or maybe he’d use a few more words than normal, if he knew he was talking to her. Tifa liked to think so. Still, she also liked to think that he understood her worrying enough to ensure he had his phone on him before leaving, and yet he’d gone without it. 

_He doesn’t know me to worry,_ Tifa corrected herself. _He probably expects me to have full confidence in him, just like Barret and Aerith do. Probably expects me to trust him like they do._

She wanted to trust that he was alright and he could handle things wherever he was, but the skeletons gave her plenty of reason to be concerned. If he got wounded, then he’d be alone, with his sword cast aside somewhere, a flesh-eating _something_ having him on the menu for lunch, and he’d be bleeding out there on the ground alone.

Tifa’s heart sank. _Not Cloud too. Can’t lose him too._

She took off running, then, keeping a sharp eye on the trail of blood that led her further through the forest. Sharp thorns poked at the skin of her ankles through her black stockings, but she tried to ignore the irritation and keep on running.

The trail suddenly was gone from her view once she passed between two tall oak trees. Her eyes widened fearfully and her head swiveled around several times as she muttered, “No, no, no, no!” Tifa retraced her steps, eventually finding the spot where the blood trail ended and never continued.

The blood had already exhausted its use.

Tifa weighed her options as she looked off into the distance where, hopefully, Cloud Strife was doing just fine and was nearly ready to head back safe and sound. She could keep going straight, hoping that the blood was intended to lead that direction, and maybe wind up finding Cloud. If she didn’t find him, she could easily lose her way back, and find herself in a lonely space where neither Cloud nor her other friends resided. 

_“All forests look the same,”_ she remembered Barret muttering when they’d first arrived here. He couldn’t have been more right.

If she went back, she’d stumble back into the camp, and would be able to easily find her way back to Barret, Aerith, and Red. Still, she’d have to come back without a tall blonde ex-SOLDIER beside her, and a part of her could already feel the embarrassment she’d experience just looking Barret in the eye, proving to him that he’d been right and she had wasted their time.

Tifa took a deep breath and continued walking forwards, putting more faith and trust in a _guess_ than she would usually display. Cloud needed her. Or she needed him. Or somewhere in between, if that was at all possible. Her thoughts sort of jumbled together in her mind as she hurried, pushing through more of the forest in her desperate search.

She wondered if she should call for him, seeing if he was at least close enough to hear and respond to her calling his name. No, it’d be too risky, what with some kind of killer out there that’d gladly follow her voice and claim another snack. Still, curiosity spiked inside her as she wondered what Cloud _sounded_ like when raising his voice that loudly, across so much of the forest. And he’d probably call back with _her_ name, too.

There it was again. Those silly thoughts and daydreams that were unnecessarily lovesick teenager-esque. Tifa mentally backed up on that one. She was _not_ lovesick, nor was she in _love_ at all! They were supposed to be focused on saving the Planet and chasing after Sephiroth and it wasn’t her _fault_ that he brought out the shy, blushing parts of her _and_ the daring, teasing, almost subtly _flirting_ parts of her all at the same time. People grow up. A lot of them become more developed, more easy on the eyes. He was already bringing to her attention so many of the differences from the Cloud she knew before, and it wasn’t weird that a lot of those differences had to do with appearance and personality. 

Even thinking about Cloud in a way past their simple friendship made her feel guilty. She hadn’t thought about him like that a whole lot, but when he said something or did something that made her heart flutter, even for a moment, she felt bad about it. She _knew_ something wasn’t right with Cloud. The headaches, the hesitance to be honest with her and everyone else, the times she caught him staring for minutes on end at absolutely nothing. Tifa was worried for Cloud, and having a tiny crush on him would only steer her concerns in the wrong direction. 

Tifa continued to trudge along, still walking straight and coming across nothing but trees and foliage. A tree branch jutted out and scraped her bare shoulder. She winced back, running a hand across the skin before bringing it to her front to see the dirt she’d wiped off. From the corner of her eye, Tifa noticed it’d left a thin mark, but she had to keep moving. 

Her boots kicked against fallen twigs and sticks, almost tripping over a small rock hidden in a pile of leaves. The skin of her thighs began to itch slightly, irritated by the constant brushing of the forest’s extensions. Living in Midgar, wearing her usual outfit wasn’t an issue. It allowed her to be agile, light, and gave plenty of room to breathe. When walking alone in a forest with hundreds of sticks and thorns scratching at bare skin, however, it was less than practical. Maybe she’d have to buy some new clothes once – or _if_ – they next found civilization somewhere.

Finally, she heard something at her right, and she froze. The sound continued, and she realized quickly that something was rustling leaves not far from her. Someone was walking through the forest just like her. Tifa looked around, struggling to see past all of the trees, when she noticed something shiny briefly pass her line of sight. The sun’s glaring light bounced off of the object, deflecting into Tifa’s eyes and blinding her momentarily. 

_His sword._

Tifa hurried forward, hissing under her breath. “ _Cloud. Cloud!”_

No response.

Tifa, knowing the danger of whatever was out there but at least feeling more capable now that she’d found Cloud and could make this encounter an 2v1, raised her voice. “Cloud! Cloud, wait, it’s me!”

He seemed to hear her now, and she could hear the sound of him turning around just before she came around a tree to make out his sword again, which was held in one of his hands. He made eye contact with her, seeming shocked for a moment before hurrying to her.

“There you are, Cloud,” Tifa sighed with relief as he came closer. “I was getting worried that you’d-“

“What are you doing here?” he asked sharply, cutting her off. He was right up beside her now, positioning his body defensively as he looked around.

“I came to make sure you were okay,” Tifa responded honestly, hoping he wouldn’t take it the wrong way. Most people would find it hard to actually see friendly concern as a _bad_ thing, but with Cloud Strife, you never knew how he would perceive such a gesture. “Aerith came back to us and told us you sent her back on her own. I came to the campsite and-“

“What???” Cloud sounded very alarmed, locking eyes with her. There was that soft glow in them that had scared her before. “You went there?”

“Y-yeah, I saw the skeletons,” Tifa nodded, realizing something wasn’t right. “All of the blood, Cloud, it…it’s more than disturbing. I was worried you’d been attacked by whatever did all of that.”

Cloud was looking around defensively again, and his gloved hand rested on her left arm. Tifa peered down at it for a moment thoughtfully before looking back. “Cloud?”

“We need to move,” he muttered, his voice dropping an octave. Upon her confused, furling eyebrows, he added, “I think the beast is somewhere nearby.”

“Have you seen it up close?” Tifa asked, clenching both her fists.

“Briefly,” Cloud took his hand off of Tifa’s arm and rubbed his head. “But not long enough to make much out. It’s not a human, though, that’s for sure.”

“Is it big?” Tifa questioned, walking forward as Cloud slowly led her along between a mess of trees. 

“Larger than Red, at least,” Cloud’s voice came out breathy. “Here’s hoping there isn’t a whole pack of them out here.”

Tifa felt a lump in her throat. “Yeah…”

Cloud continued walking with Tifa in tow, his grip on his sword tightening. “You didn’t bring any of the others along with you, did you? Barret?”

“No,” Tifa assured him. “Just me. They thought you had this handled and only let me go because…” she trailed off, slightly embarrassed.

She hoped Cloud wouldn’t turn to her, and with just her luck, he did. His eyes searched her for something. “Because…?”

“Because I had a bad feeling about what was out here,” she half-answered, hoping it’d be enough. Fortunately, Cloud’s face softened and he turned back to the forest, nodding his head.

“Well, I guess that feeling was right,” he whispered.

Tifa sighed. “I guess so.”

They continued then in silence, with Tifa’s eyes constantly alternating between looking left and right for the beast and staring at Cloud’s back intently as if it would disappear the moment she lost focus. He didn’t seem to have any proper path or direction in mind, but Tifa silently hoped he knew some way back. At this point, she was no longer taking her straight path from where the blood ended, and it was the only way she had back to the others.

Cloud suddenly flinched, and as she stepped closer, he held a hand out, stopping her in her tracks. A soft wind blew through his blonde spikes, and Tifa was almost mesmerized for a moment by his Mako-filled eyes as they scanned the area with purpose and spite. She pulled her eyes away, finally, shaking off any weird thoughts before pulling her fists up above her waist in a readied position. 

“You hear it?” she asked.

Cloud tilted his head slightly. "I can."

 _Heightened senses,_ Tifa remembered. Yet another thing she had to get used to that Nibelheim Cloud definitely never possessed. 

"Get down," Cloud's voice took on a less booming but more protective tone. Tifa could only see him lift his sword over his head with both hands as she dropped to the dirt. She heard the swing of metal and cutting of flesh right above her head, and as she looked up, a half-corpse fell to the ground merely feet away from her. The other half was flung a bit farther.

"Glad that's over," Cloud muttered, watching the body as if he expected it to get back up. Something about the way he said it made Tifa imagine him being the kind of hero to deliver a cheesy one-liner after the kill. 

_Yeah, that doesn't fit._

"How'd you know when to time the swing?" Tifa questioned as she looked down at the edge of his sword. "You weren't even looking in the creature's direction."

Cloud, ever the humble one, shrugged his shoulders, and finally relaxed enough to rest the sword on his back. "Any other SOLDIER could've done the same thing. I just picked up on different sounds and realized it was in the tree above us." He threw a hand up and pointed his thumb to the sky.

"Oh, seriously?" Tifa winced as she looked upwards. "That makes me feel a lot less safe."

“There may be more,” Cloud reminded her, and in an instant, he was walking off again. He didn’t make any motion for her to follow, but it was probably a given at this point. There was no way she was staying behind now.

“If they’re in the trees, we should find a clearing somewhere,” Tifa suggested, coming to walk right alongside him. Her mind wandered to the bottle of water she’d forgotten to bring with her. The one she’d given to Barret to borrow and had never taken back. A quick – _very_ quick, because she wasn’t weird or anything – glance at Cloud’s somewhat dry lips made her feel worse. She and Barret could hardly get the merc to even sleep sometimes, let alone drink enough water each day. It was yet another thing Tifa had overlooked before impulsively hurrying out here on her own. 

“Good idea, if we find a good spot without any trees, we’ll have the advantage.” Cloud appeared thoughtful, and then his head raised as something came to him. “I know a place.”

Tifa smiled, but felt only half relieved. “Back towards the creatures?”

“Hopefully not,” Cloud shook his head. “Where are the others?”

“They’re still headed to the lake, as planned. Why, you change your mind?”

“No, I’m just hoping they’ll be awfully patient when they get there,” Cloud explained. “This is definitely going out of our way.”

The clearing Cloud had mentioned ended up being much larger than Tifa expected. A long, wide stretch of grass with not a single tree inside. The rest of the forest acted as an outer barrier of sorts, giving both Cloud and Tifa a convenient window into their surroundings. While there were no trees in the way, whoever had cut them all down left stumps behind. Dozens upon dozens of them were scattered around, firmly rooted in the dirt.

“This is perfect,” Tifa marveled, coming to seat herself down on a stump near the center of the clearing. Her eyes followed Cloud as he slowly walked around, still scanning the area. She wondered if he’d take a seat with her. When he stopped walking, he just stood there with his arms folded, his sword on his back.

 _Guess not_ , Tifa mused.

“We shouldn’t stick around here for too long,” Cloud spoke. “Just long enough to see if the creatures are foolish enough to charge us in the open.”

“And after that?”

The look on his face told Tifa that he was already dreading what’d come next. “After that, we try our best to figure things out as we go.”

“Oh,” Tifa bowed her head. “Right. And we’re sure there’s no way back onto the path to meet up with Barret and the others?”

Cloud was quiet for a bit. “We won’t know unless we look for it. If worse comes to worse, I at least know the general direction to take towards the lake.”

“But it’s all uncharted territory,” Tifa finished for him.

A small, almost inaudible sound of frustration and perhaps exhaustion left Cloud’s lips. “Yeah.”

They both went without speaking for a while, occasionally casting glances and small nods of the head before Tifa grew tired of it all and patted the stump beside her. “Grab a seat.”

If Cloud had wanted to argue against it, he gave no evidence through his expression. The ex-SOLDIER simply nodded his head and came to sit, taking his sword off his back and over his shoulder before placing the weapon on the grass beside his feet. His hands rested on his knees and he was slightly leaning forward. Tifa could tell he wasn’t the easiest guy to get to relax.

“You think we should have taken a closer look at the corpse?” Tifa asked. “Just so we’d know exactly what to expect.”

Cloud shrugged. “Gray fur, sharp teeth, big claws. Doesn’t matter what comes running up out of the forest; if it comes for us, it’s already as good as dead.” His eyes were cast downwards at his sword.

Something about the way Cloud so weightlessly talked about killing triggered another ugly feeling in Tifa. She tried to wave it away, reminding herself that these were _animals_ and not people. If it came down to their own lives or that of a flesh-eating beast, she’d do the same. Right?

“I wanted to ask-“

“Hmm?” Cloud whipped his head to her, as if it wasn’t _what_ she said but the fact that she said _something_ that pulled him out of yet another trance. Tifa peered down at the sword just as he had been doing. Had he just been mesmerized by the shiny metal? Did he normally find himself staring at it when he got bored?

“I said that I’ve been wanting to ask you something.”

Cloud’s eyebrows fell back down from where they’d been raised in surprise on his forehead. His blinked a few times before responding. “Ask away.”

 _Something is definitely not right._ “How are you holding up?”

Cloud was silent, looking away from her. Tifa mentally panicked. She was already losing him, causing him to lock up and guard himself so well that she’d get nothing out of him other than whatever mask he put over himself – whatever excuse he could come up with. It didn’t make Tifa angry – she understood he was naturally reserved and kept things to himself normally – but it did make her disappointed. 

“Cloud, I’m just concerned for you, like any friend would be,” Tifa pressed further, turning her head to try and catch his wayward eyes. To no surprise, he was guarding those, too. “So are Barret and Aerith. Even Red.” She decided not to add that they were quite a bit _less_ concerned than she was, at least from how they showed it, but the addition of their names seemed to spur Cloud just a bit further.

“I’m fine. You ask this a lot.”

Before Tifa could feel offended, she cooled herself. She _did_ ask him this a lot…in smaller, subtler, less obvious ways. After almost every battle, she’d ask him, “You okay?” or “You good?” He’d usually just give a nod or a simple, “yeah” and move on from that. It had felt natural to check up on him, and it wasn’t like she only did it for him, either. Barret was a good friend and ally, and he was just as deserving of her concern as Cloud was. As such, she’d often ask both of them.

But it wasn’t _just_ during battle that she’d ask, and that must have been where Cloud was coming from in pointing her out. The times they’d saved each other from fatal falls and blows, the times she’d see him struggling to catch his breath upon climbing for hours on end, the times she found him emoting way more than usual at tragic news or something that just simply surprised him.

And the headaches. There were the thing Tifa wanted to ask about most, and the thing she was most afraid of bringing up.

“Maybe I do ask it a lot, but anything can change,” Tifa explained herself after long moments of silence. “I…didn’t mean to come off as insistent or annoying.”

“You haven’t,” Cloud’s voice raised slightly, reassuring her quicker than she expected. His eyes caught hers and then he looked down at his hands. “It’s fine.”

 _You’re fine, its fine, is everything really fine?_ Tifa wanted to scream. “Alright, that’s good. I guess I was just looking too deep into things.”

Cloud straightened. “I’ve been giving off that many signals?”

“Not exactly,” Tifa sighed, already feeling like she was losing grip on what she wanted to say in the first place. There he was again, quickly assuming he’d done or said _something_ to confuse or upset her. She’d be charmed if she wasn’t so stressed out.

_Your headaches, Cloud. I’m worried about your-_

“-It’s nothing, I guess,” Tifa put on a smile. “We should be worried about getting back to the others, yeah?”

Cloud frowned. Was it because he was dreading the journey ahead or because he could see right through her? Tifa forced her eyes from his. That’d have to be a question for another time, when she wasn’t so afraid of asking an even simpler question.

He said it’d been five years since they last met, when she recalled seven. He remembered things he shouldn’t. Nibelheim burning. She had half a mind to call him out for that back when he’d recalled the events, to at least question his confidence in his memory and see if maybe he’d been confused, but she hadn’t. Ever since she’d recruited him for AVALANCHE, Tifa knew something wasn’t right. There were times he acted lost, even when standing beside her. When they’d just be walking down a street, he’d spontaneously clutch his head, writhing in pain only to deny it happening when she asked.

She wanted answers, but was sure by now that Cloud didn’t have them. If she pressed him for an explanation, only making him feel more confused and perhaps guilty, things would be made worse. 

He remembered the water tower. The promise he’d made to her. That much was clear.

But was that all that was salvageable? Were his memories of his childhood so twisted and distant from him that he’d somehow get them wrong but still be confident that he was right?

_A good friend would fight for answers despite all of that, if it meant helping him out, maybe giving him some peace._

Or was it all for her own reassurance?

“I guess you’re right,” Cloud said after a while, nodding his head. Still, he didn’t make any move to get up, still firmly seated on the log with his hands on his knees and his massive sword laid out on the ground beside him. “Still, I…”

“Yeah?” Tifa leaned in a bit closer.

Cloud watched her expression become full of curiosity and interest. “I don’t want you to become so worried about me that you forget the mission.”

Tifa couldn’t speak to that for a moment, her face softening and several different emotions swirling in her head. Should she feel understanding or offended? Unwanted or appreciated? The look Cloud was giving her implied that he had nothing against her simply thinking of him, but it was the fact that he was on her mind so _frequently_ that made him feel uneasy. Or, at least, that was the conclusion Tifa had come to before noticing Cloud’s lips just _barely_ curl into a smile. So he was uneasy _and_ flattered. 

_Oh boy._

“I’m allowed to have my friend’s best interests in mind, aren’t I?” Tifa managed a quiet laugh, and to her relief, his smile widened despite the severity of whatever he was trying to get across with his eyes. The Mako was somehow more noticeable than before. Tifa wished she could more clearly find pure blue irises underneath somehow.

“It’s not that,” Cloud shook his head.

“Then what? You can tell me,” Tifa’s voice softened, taking on a tone she often had with Marlene back at the bar whenever the girl would wake up from a bad dream or was longing for her father to come home. Still, this was a grown man and _not_ a little girl, so the mental comparison was merely humorous in Tifa’s head.

Cloud seemed very distant for a while, and Tifa frowned.

_Why does it feel like you’re going far away?_

“You and the others seemed to do just fine before I came along,” Cloud explained, his demeanor still unreachable. “I know you say you needed my help, but you and Barret could have taken out the reactor without me. He only hired me again because Jessie was…” He swallowed hard, his eyes not daring to meet Tifa’s as if he had hurt her. “…and you know how that all went down anyway. The bridge went out, we were separated, and I fell into a church.”

“Where are you going with this…?”

“You didn’t know I fell into a church,” he answered bluntly, still not looking at her. “You thought I was left behind for Shinra. Or worse. If me and Aerith hadn’t been in just the right place to catch you heading off to see Corneo-“

“Cloud, I was scared for you then, yes, but I didn’t let it influence my actions,” Tifa interrupted, her hand tempted to brush against his or grab his shoulder or _something_ so that he’d finally turn to look at her. “A part of me was worried that you’d been killed, but it hadn’t been confirmed, so I held on to hope. That, and I was willing to hold you to something you said while holding onto that bridge.”

The words came back to them both. _“This isn’t the end of the line for you or me.”_

“Promises are broken all the time,” Cloud shrugged.

“But not the ones you’ve made to me,” the words ghosted across Tifa’s lips, sounding almost like a hesitant whisper. Still, Cloud caught it and finally turned his head to meet her. “At the end of the day, you still came to Corneo’s mansion – in a _dress_ , no less-“

Cloud groaned, rolling his eyes at the memory.

“-and came to save me when I was in trouble,” Tifa finished, smiling shyly as she realized just how many ways Cloud could interpret where she was going with this. “Just as you promised. So I don’t want you thinking that somehow you’re being a burden by being around me. I’ve risked my neck for you because you’ve done the same for me.”

Cloud nodded slowly.

“We’re in this together,” Tifa added, her hand finally resting on one of Cloud’s. She felt it gently pulse at the touch, even through the fabric of his glove. _You’re all I’ve got,_ she wanted to fit in her reply, but hesitated. “When we find Sephiroth, I’ll fight like I always have. Don’t worry about that.”

Cloud seemed somewhat at peace with that answer. “Alright.” He was looking down at their joined hands, another small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. The amount of gil Tifa would pay just to read his thoughts…

“We’re both okay now, I think,” she spoke warmly, her hand nestling even closer into his, feeling so much more at home than she expected-

“We will be once we get out of this forest,” he countered, a hint of amusement coating his voice.

“You know what I mean,” Tifa rolled her eyes.

His mouth returned to a straight line. “I do.”

“Well!” Tifa cleared her throat, getting to her feet and pulling him up along with her. “I think if we stay here any longer, the others will probably have found and cooked something to eat without us.”

“You scared of Barret’s cooking?” Cloud joked. Tifa didn’t usually expect this emotion from him often. It was somewhat foreign, yet further described the Cloud underneath all of the SOLDIER training and Mako that she imagined was still there. 

“Just a little,” Tifa laughed. “There’s a reason I ran the bar and not him.”

_We’re still holding hands. He hasn’t let go._

As if she jinxed it all, Cloud finally did release her hand and returned his own to his side as he bent down to pick up his sword. It was quickly vaulted back over his shoulder and onto his back. “I’ll lead the way,” he offered gently, nodding at her before beginning to walk off in the direction Tifa hoped was the lake.

She still felt the weight of his hand in hers even after letting go, wriggling her fingers around but the feeling just wouldn’t go away. Tifa knew she needed to be focused, more concerned for Cloud’s health and safety than the butterflies he gave her just with the touch of a gloved hand. Why’d he hold on so long? Why’d _she_ hold on so long?

Tifa ducked her chin into her neck to hide a bit of red tinting across her cheeks, even though Cloud was in front and couldn’t see. 

_It feels like you’re going far away…_

Tifa straightened herself, dusted off her skirt, and came to walk just a bit closer to Cloud. 

_Not while I have breath in my body, you’re not._

**Author's Note:**

> Stay in school kids (unless you're in lockdown I guess) and brush your teeth (unless you have no teeth, in which case, I'm so sorry)


End file.
